


Broken Dawn

by servatia83



Series: Where You Are [1]
Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-12
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-04-14 08:07:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4557075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/servatia83/pseuds/servatia83
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While researching time magic with Gereon Alexius, Dorian receives a very intriguing gift in form of an elven slave. A slave he feels compelled to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Against You

**Author's Note:**

> ((Chapter heading is a Lacuna Coil song.  
> I call whatever you play with Cullen and whatever stands around in the apprentice quarters in the tower in DA:O chess for lack of another term.))

‘You fail me. Every day, in everything you do, you keep on failing me.’  
The words hat gone through Dorian’s soul like a sword. He had run through the streets, run away like a child, until he had stopped with wet cheeks at the house of the other man. He had raised his hands to knock, but caught himself. He was acting like a child. Once again, he was twelve years old, and was getting a talking to because he had stepped in between himself and the whipping boy. His mother, the Maker keep her soul, had commended him, but oh, how his father had raged. It didn’t befit him to be beaten – to which Dorian had replied, ‘So don’t.’ It hadn’t helped. It had ended up with the whipping boy getting a beating and Dorian running away in a fit of mindless rage and fear and … something he couldn’t name then. Now he knew what it was. Futility. A deep, profound sense of futility. That, back then, had been the first time he’d felt it. It had returned full force when his mother had passed away only a year later, her life taken by some horrible, violent, fast disease she’d contracted from a small injury. His father hadn’t even pretended to mourn.  
‘Dorian?’ He blinked and looked into the concerned face of Felix Alexius. How long he had stood in the doorway Dorian wasn’t certain. He wiped over his face – too late. Judging by his friend’s expression, it was clear that his composure was non-existence.  
‘I … should go. It’s nothing.’ Dorian wanted to turn and leave, but Felix caught him with a hand on his arm.  
‘It doesn’t look like nothing. Come on in. Father’s at one of Arion’s dratted parties, I told him I’m not feeling up to it.’ He tilted his head. ‘Shouldn’t you be there, too?’  
‘I … ah, didn’t feel up to it, either.’ He followed Felix inside, into the familiar manor. It looked very different to the Pavus estate, warmer, less marble, more drapes. Like Gereon Alexius was a much warmer person. No, this wasn’t a wise thing to think about. Not right now. ‘Considering the company that Arion keeps … and considering that he nearly wet himself with excitement if the official letter inviting us is any indication … I’d be better off hiding in the stables. I know that this twisted creature Danarius is there, and that alone is a reason to stay away.’  
‘Eurgh. The thought of that one can reduce anyone to tears, and since he came back from the south he’s been especially distasteful. But I don’t think that’s it. Spit letters, Dorian.’  
‘Excuse me?’  
Felix grinned. ‘Your guy from the Anderfels keeps saying that. Heriwald?’  
‘Heribert.’  
‘Yeah, that’s the one.’  
Dorian smiled. ‘Well, I’ll … spit letters, then. I followed your advice. After the … fifteenth bride I rejected. Or so. I stopped counting a while ago. I told him why.’  
‘Didn’t go well.’ It wasn’t a question. ‘I … At least it’s out in the open, Dorian, he had to know.’  
‘I know.’ He shrugged. ‘I’m not saying you were wrong. But right now … I don’t know if I hate him or myself more.’  
‘Long as you don’t hate me.’  
‘Don’t be ridiculous. You’re the only thing that stands between me and enough alcohol to be life-threatening.’  
Felix’s eyes widened. He knew Dorian long and well enough not to brush that statement aside. ‘Don’t you dare, Pavus.’  
The mage raised his hands. ‘I’m here, aren’t I? So distract me. Do something. Stop me.’  
Felix shook his head. ‘I’ll stop you by asking you not to destroy yourself because I need a friend. And I’ll keep needing him for a long time yet.’  
Dorian swallowed and nodded. ‘All right. Long as you keep listening to my whining.’  
‘Whine away.’ He scowled. ‘Dorian, promise me you’re not going to do something stupid one day.’  
Dorian swallowed. ‘I won’t. I’m sorry, I …’ He glared. ‘I’m miserable and tried to make you miserable, too. And I’m sorry that I succeeded. I won’t kill myself, if that’s your question. Promise.’  
‘Good. Chess?’  
‘Yeah. I’m warning you, I’ll be a lousy player today.’  
‘Well, at least I stand a chance. Normally you beat me without batting an eye.’  
Ϡ  
Dorian made his move without thinking. Judging from Felix’s expression it was horrible. He didn’t care. ‘What did you mean, earlier, about Danarius? He’s been south?’  
Felix gave him a withering look. ‘Yes. And he made so much noise about it even you couldn’t have missed it, one should think. He had a slave that ran away and went to hunt him down. And believe it or not, that slave ran afoul of some guy in the free marches, who returned him. Imagine what that did to Danarius’s ego.’  
‘I’d rather not.’  
‘I saw it first hand,’ the solemn voice of Gereon Alexius said. ‘Good evening, Dorian. Your father is very concerned.’  
Dorian bit back the retort that was on his mind. Instead, he raised both arms and smiled. He believed it was convincing. ‘What shall I say? I hate these … occasions. Not all of them, mind you. Yours are brilliant.’  
A smile tugged at the older man’s face. ‘You know you’re always welcome here, Dorian, and I won’t throw you out. But perhaps you should consider returning home, before Halward thinks he has to send out a search party. A search party, which undoubtedly will show up at my door. Also, I think he has calmed down a little.’  
‘Did he say … what happened?’  
Gereon snorted. ‘No. But I can guess. I’ve known you for a very long time now, and I am not blind. How did he find out about your … ah … inclination?’  
‘Counter question. Am I that obvious?’  
The magister laughed. ‘No. At least, not to everyone. It’s easy for me, you’re not my son and heir. Of course it is nothing that troubles me. If you prefer to stay here tonight, your room is always ready.’  
Of course it was. He was, after all, Gereon’s apprentice and there were times where they worked late into the night. Dorian didn’t ask just what his mentor would do if Felix preferred men. He suspected he’d take it better than his father, however. ‘Still. Thank you for not … having me removed for my depravity.’ He stood and looked at the mess on the chess board and laid his king down. ‘I yield, Felix. I demand a rematch tomorrow. Or whenever I have calmed down enough.’


	2. A Gift Horse

'… needs to create a … no … evoke a spectra-what?' Dorian rubbed the bridge of his nose and swore. 'Evoke a … spectracon … spectracon … A whisp? Must be … summon a whisp, then? Oh, yes, of course, best time to interrupt me.'

'You're being impolite.'

Dorian glared over his shoulder at his father. 'I am wading through sludge, trying to study while decrypting this horrible language. Do we have anyone who actually speaks Nevarran around here?'

'Speaks, yes. Reads, no. And talking to yourself may not be the best way …'

'I know how to study, thank you very much. And saying it aloud actually helps me. Or is that something else you want to harass me about?'

'I … may have deserved that. And I apologise for disturbing you, but you have secluded yourself for almost a week now, and there are a few things I wish to say to you.'

Dorian turned around but remained seated. He folded his arms. 'I'm listening.'

'I am sorry for what I said.'

'Which bit? Aberration? Disgrace? Failure?'

'Each and every one of them. You are my only son, Dorian. I do not want this to be between us. I … understand that you are still young and need to break your horns. Feel free to do so. You have time. I will … refrain from trying to find a wife for you. For a time. But eventually, you need to get used to the idea.' Dorian made a non-committal sound. 'Well. I … also brought something back for you. A gift, an apology, and a peace-offering all at once. If you do not approve, I can still return it, or so I am told it says in the contract.'

Dorian didn't want to be intrigued, but he couldn't help it. Curiosity was as much in his nature as his sexuality. Both would one day be his doom. 'I … Well. I shouldn't have … run away. It wasn't an adult reaction.'

'An adult reaction might have been hitting me. I prefer running.' Despite himself, Dorian smiled. 'Come and see.' Equal parts apprehensive and eager, Dorian followed his father. 'Isn't Gereon working on something else? I'd have thought you have learned all you can about necromancy.'

'There is no branch of magic where you can ever say you know all there is.' He smiled. 'And I cannot tell you what Gereon is working on. Maybe I never can.'

His father stopped in his tracks. 'Oh? He was quite excited, wanted to present his results in some sort of demonstration.'

Dorian considered his next words carefully. 'Yes. He was. And he is still thrilled about the research, as am I. But … we are almost positive that this can never become anything beyond theoretical work and access to the knowledge should be very limited. There is an incredible potential for disaster. The kind that can destroy the world without much exaggeration. But perhaps,' he smiled, 'there will be some small-scale demonstration one day. If so, that's Gereon's call and I wouldn't spoil the fun for him.' He spotted an unfamiliar elf standing in the corridor and halted. 'Oh?'

'Know him?'

Dorian swallowed and looked at the figure. Lean, beautiful, and unique. 'Sure. What is he doing here?'

His father made a face. 'He is a little useless as a bodyguard, after … certain drastic measures.'

'Drastic measures?'

'He had to be brought in line. Apparently that only worked by wiping him clean. He can talk, nothing so basic has been touched, but he has apparently forgotten how to fight. I allege that this has been done on purpose when all else failed. Now he's been trained as a pleasure slave.'

'Which brings me back to my first question.'

'Ah, yes. He is ours. Yours, to be precise. With one caveat. Should he die, his body is to be returned to Danarius.'

'Mine … to do what with?' Dorian's voice was husky as he took the figure in. 'Why?'

'I take it that is the real question. As I said, I was too harsh with you. We will find a solution we can both live with. Yelling at you … insulting you was not the way to get there.'

Dorian shook himself. 'I didn't expect any of this. Thank you.' He even meant it. Licking his lips, he addressed the elf. 'Meet me in … say, an hour. Knock and wait until I call you in, in case I need to wrap something up.'

'Yes, Master.'

Dorian grinned. 'Come prepared.'

Ϡ

The hour trickled by incredibly slowly. When the soft knock on the door came, Dorian's erection was painfully obvious. He was glad he had told the slave to come prepared. He could just plunge inside and cool off the immediate ache. There would be time to find out just how well trained this slave was later. 'Come in,' he called.

In came the elf. Dorian knew that he had been subjected to whatever treatment he had received because he had run away and wreaked havoc. The very one Danarius had brought back from the Free Marches. His name, Dorian remembered, was Fenris. But there was nothing about this man that reminded him of a wolf.

His eyes were cast to the floor, a trait he had noticed before when Danarius had paraded him about. This was something some masters demanded. What was less usual were the obvious signs of abuse. And the fact that he had come stark naked.

Dorian swallowed and struggled with something primal and hungry inside him that wanted to jump the miserable creature. Something Dorian instantly checked and ignored. On Fenris's nipples there were metal clasps that had to be horribly painful. His sex was similarly trapped in a ring so tight it was probably dangerous. The only reason for the swelling of the organ was the inhibited blood flow. There were fading bruises on Fenris's sides and he held himself in a manner that screamed pain. He also looked half starved.

Dorian's expression must be one of horror because the beaten creature flinched under his scrutiny and knelt. 'I displease you. I await your punishment.'

Whatever Dorian wanted to say came out as nothing more than an incoherent whimper. He cleared his throat. 'Take … these things off. I don't want you to harm yourself.'

'I do not believe that I can.'

'Fasta vass.' Dorian rubbed a hand over his face. Gently, he plucked the clasps from Fenris's chest. 'Sit, legs parted. How did you usually get rid of this?'

'They were removed for me. With ice magic.'

Dorian responded with a few choice Nevarran swear words he had encountered in his studies. 'No fucking way,' he said finally. Carefully, he placed his hands on Fenris's sex and let magic flow into the tissue. Cooling, soothing, and at the same time warming the ring around him to make it marginally wider. It worked. Slowly, but it worked. 'Next time … prepared I mean … ready to be taken, lubricated and stretched, but not this. Please. And don't you dare to apologise. This isn't your fault.'

'Do you wish me to leave?'

'Yes. Wait. No. Talk to me.'

'Nothing I can say could be of any value to you, Master.'

'I'll be deciding that, thank you very much. Tell me … is there anything you ask of me?' For the first time, Fenris really looked at him. The only thing Dorian could bring himself to feel for the wretch was pity. His arousal had died, but he fully intended to fuck him later.

'Nothing I could ask.'

The answer was bolder than Dorian thought he would dare to be. He smiled and patted his cheek in approval. 'Tell me anyway.'

'The only thing I want is something no-one can give me.'

'Do I have to give orders twice?'

The dark green eyes went wide. 'No, master. I want to know what I was and what I did to make my former master hate me. If I don't know how I displeased him, I fear I will do it with you again. If I fail you, too, and you return me, my life is forfeit.'

Dorian shook his head. 'You won't fail me. I cannot return your memories, and I'd rather not relate what I heard around three corners. I probably know less than half of it, and less than half of what I know is likely to be true. This I cannot grant you.' He stood and turned away. 'Please leave me. I need a moment to compose myself and … stop myself from writing Danarius a very angry letter. I want you to have something to eat and most of all to drink. I can tell you that you used to be a body guard. I'd like that look on you.' He squinted. 'Would you like to be a body guard as well? Most pleasure slaves have additional functions if they serve only one individual, and I am not going to share you.'

'I cannot fight. I have been told that I could, but I do not remember.'

'You'll be trained, of course. I'll take that as a yes. Now leave. I need to work.'


	3. Time Stands Still

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((Chapter heading is a Dowland song this time.))

When Dorian walked to Gereon’s manor a few days later, he did it with a smile on his face. He had received a message from his mentor, inviting him for a minor practical attempt. He didn’t even try to hide his curiosity, dropped everything he was holding, and hurried through the morning mist. He let his mind wander to what he would do after this. Which was, of course, Fenris. The elf was a marvel. He didn’t seem to enjoy sex, but he did try and moan when Dorian took him. At least he wasn’t in pain, that much Dorian was sure of. He also seemed to like his training to a point, although how he could ever have been a good fighter was beyond Dorian. Danarius must have wrought unspeakable damage in his head indeed. Anyway, he did more than just lie there, followed instructions to the letter, and quickly learned what Dorian liked. Perhaps, just perhaps, keeping him would mellow Dorian enough to allow a marriage. He had to get the woman pregnant somehow, but for the pleasure he could return to his own private toy.

At the door, Dorian was met by Gereon’s valet, a rather tall elf with a constantly sombre expression. He was one of the few slaves that could read, which was essential in his field of work, and he had a certain degree of haughtiness towards the other slaves. He also grovelled before Dorian, so much so that Felix had once scolded him for being ridiculous. Dorian ignored him and moved on to greet Livia. ‘Good morning, my dear Madam. You are stunningly beautiful, as always.’

‘And you are a flatterer, as always. Don’t stop.’ She smiled and offered her hand. Dorian bowed and kissed it, his lips not quite touching the skin. ‘Gereon is downstairs. Keep an eye on him. He has been … intense about whatever it is you two are doing.’

‘I’ll keep him safe.’ It was their code. It actually meant that Dorian shouldn’t do something reckless so that Gereon had to patch him up again. And Dorian’s answer meant that he understood her concern for him and would try to do as he was asked.

‘Dorian!’ He had barely closed the door to the cellar room when Gereon rushed him, face flushed with excitement. ‘Dorian, I think there’s something we can try. And you’re here to tell me if this is as insane as Felix insists.’

‘Pish-posh. Time magic and insane? How dare he?’

‘My words exactly. Here’s the deal. I can hardly send one of us back in time and see what happens. Can I?’

‘I know what Danarius would say, but thank the Maker, you won’t.’

Alexius made a sound of utter disgust. ‘Yes. Indeed. No, we are not him. I will attempt to send something into the past. It should vanish and return a minute later. I will need time, and I need a watchdog.’

‘Understood.’

‘Don’t fret too quickly.’

‘I will not take risks.’

‘You’re not that touchy about your own safety.’

‘Difference. I am much less powerful and much less important.’

‘You are the future, young man. Once this is all over, I will ask that you be accepted into the magisterium. You’ve got the talent and … the mental stability I believe a magister should have. Not that all of them do.’

Dorian blinked. ‘What became of me being too hot-headed and loud?’

‘You still are, but I believe you’re intelligent enough to keep quiet when you must. Change cannot be forced. If that were possible, it would have happened long ago. It can only come by being a good example. That and some coaxing and reminding yourself that you are making at least some progress.’

‘Forgive the blunt question, but what have we achieved?’

‘We.’ Gereon smiled. ‘You, nothing much except that you are unusually kind to your subjects because as an Altus you are in no position to cause any real change. I have, with the help of others, of course, managed to alter some laws. Remember Terentius’s trial? The slave that would have been tortured because otherwise her statement wouldn’t have been accepted. Ridiculous, the woman was the epitome of loyalty and absolutely uninvolved, her master not interested in either outcome. Except, I happen to know, the truth. Still, they would have put her through torture. Just because she wasn’t a free woman. It became interesting when Terentius himself wanted her questioned without torture. Ah, what a loss. He was a good man.’

‘A good man who happened to be a spy for Orlais.’

‘Indeed. At any rate, this is a battle we’ve won. A small victory, but a victory all the same.’

‘Applying to a rare case where neither master nor slave have any interest in either outcome.’

‘Better than nothing, Dorian. I agree, not enough, but more than we had and something we can build upon. You need patience.’

‘Speaking of which, did you take all the necessary measures for an untried spell?’ Gereon smiled. Of course he didn’t, because the measures weren’t applicable. ‘Well. What do I look out for?’

‘Anything from my nose bleeding to demons swarming the cellar.’

‘Oh. Good. Nothing too worrisome then. I’m ready.’

Ϡ

Dorian’s plan to get Fenris to his room to fuck him when Alexius’s experiment was over wouldn’t come to fruition. He realised that the moment he felt the tingle that promised doom and the energy of the spell draining him of strength. ‘Alexius.’ The magister didn’t hear him, his concentration taking all he had. Also his voice, chanting an incantation Dorian found more than worrisome, rose in volume and in pitch. ‘Magister Alexius!’ No reaction. The statement about swarming demons had been a joke, but if the mirage surrounding the other man, like a heat haze but cool, was any indication, he hadn’t been too wrong. ‘Gereon! Gereon, stop right now!’ he yelled as loudly as he could and shook the older man, needing to break his focus right now.

Gereon blinked. ‘That … didn’t go well.’

‘You can say that.’ Dorian wiped the cold sweat off his forehead. ‘How far did you try to reach? A century?’

‘A minute.’ Alexius slumped into a chair. ‘Only a minute. I’m drained as if I’d tried to move Minrathous into Antiva. We need to analyse what went wrong.’

‘I wonder … I think I have an idea there. I think you had the vector wrong.’

‘No way. I wanted to reach back.’

‘You didn’t. You reached forwards. We never knew for sure, did we, if we didn’t have to reverse the direction. Time magic cannot be cast directly, the spell is a reflection, therefore distorted and potentially reversed. We never managed to nail that hypothesis down in mere theory and dismissed it. But now I think that was it. Every nuance of your magic was meant to reach to the past. The vector was also meant to reach the past. But the vector was reversed due to the reflexive nature of time magic, against your focus, against the incantation.’

‘That is possible. Although I had eliminated that option. Perhaps my calculations were wrong.’ Alexius made a face. ‘That would mean that it would actually be easier to influence the future. And that a backfired spell that reaches backwards could actually have a catapult effect forwards. Not a pleasant thought.’

‘No. But if you think about it, it makes sense on a very primitive level.’

‘Indeed. I cannot try again right now, I’ll rewrite this … all of it and try sending the bleeding coin a minute into the future. A backfire would be much less threatening. How are you? You look pretty messed up.’

‘Well … aside from the minor panic attack, I also am depleted. You spell had quite an impact.’

‘Another thing to work on. Oh! Oh, will you look at that.’ Alexius walked to a shelf which held jars. Or had held them, because now they were broken, their contents spilt. ‘Good thing this isn’t anything worrisome. I’ll have Dina clean it up.’

‘Dina … Dina? Ah, yes, her.’

‘I got her from Terentius’s household after … well. You know. She was a pleasure slave. Poor thing had nothing to do than bend over when he felt like it.’

Dorian said nothing. He thought of Fenris and wondered for the first time what that would be like. ‘It can’t be that bad, if your master isn’t someone horrid. Can it?’

‘It’s humiliating. I’m astounded that you of all people would approve.’ Gereon’s eyes narrowed. ‘You have a pleasure slave? Is that your answer to the problem at hand?’

‘I … didn’t get him myself. And he’s better off with me than he was with Danarius.’

Gereon snorted. ‘He’d be better off dead than with Danarius. Dorian … give him some real work, if you want to prove you’re the man I think you are. Imagine you’re in his place. Imagine all you’re good for is lifting your ass for some guy to dump a load in. I have a much easier time thinking I serve as a cook or a body guard.’

‘I can’t teach him anything. It’s the one Danarius brought back from the Free Marches. He’s too messed up, the bastard screwed his mind almost into oblivion. I wonder how he can think for himself. He certainly can’t process information that is at least somewhat complex. He forgets it after a few hours.’ Dorian raised his arms. ‘What would you have me do with such a slave? Dismiss him? Return him, knowing that he’ll be killed because he’s all but useless?’

Alexius nodded slowly. ‘Were I the mistrustful type, I would say it is all a part of the punishment. Either to have him serve as a whore or to put him down for being pointless. Perhaps death would be kinder.’ He bit his lower lip. ‘There is one thing you can do, if you want to. Find out if his memories are gone or blocked.’

‘Gereon …’

‘By asking him questions, if that wasn’t clear.’ He smirked. ‘Don’t become paranoid, my friend. Please. We need reasonable people more than anything else. And if you think that it is only a barrier, perhaps Felix can help? He has done a lot of research about mental afflictions and other solutions than making it worse with blood magic.’

Dorian nodded slowly. ‘You know, now I feel horrible about using him like that.’

‘There is something else to consider. That slave … if what they say is true, he was out to kill Danarius. While I can sympathise with that, you’ll want to keep it in mind. Perhaps in his case a quick, clean end would be best. Consider that before you speak to him.’

‘What would you do? What is your advice, Alexius?’

‘Ah, Dorian.’ He sighed. ‘I believe he has to die. But the choice, of course, is yours. Felix, no doubt, would be thrilled to have such a subject. You have to hurry, though, he and Livia are leaving for Hossberg in two days and it will be a while before they return.’

 

 


	4. One Small Voice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((Chapter heading is a fraction of a line taken from Shaking Through by R.E.M.))

The choice was his, Gereon had said. Of course it was. Fenris was his property, a piece of furniture to throw out when it had outlived its usefulness. Gereon was neither a cynic nor a cruel man, which made the ease with which he would condemn Fenris to death even worse. Dorian took a generous swig straight out of the wine bottle. He sauntered to the door and shouted for a servant, sending for the elf. He’d fuck him one last time before … well. He’d see.

Fenris was barely inside the bedroom when Dorian rushed him, undressing him hastily. He had told him not to run around naked. It wasn’t a great idea to begin with, seeing how no-one needed to see his toy for what he was. Also it was … humiliating. A strange thought, regarding a slave, perhaps.

The elf positioned himself on his hands and knees, and Dorian thrust home. He reached around, he always did, but he expected to feel the slave’s cock flaccid. Not this time, though. He was hard. ‘Master, I apologise. My control slipped.’

Dorian laughed, he couldn’t help it. ‘Like what you feel, do you?’ He rolled his hips, more gently than usually, for once aware of the other man’s response. ‘It’s not like you have to be miserable. Is that what you were taught? Check any response to make me feel like I’m in power?’

‘You are in power, master.’ The deep voice shook, and the deflating member in Dorian’s hand told him the tremor was caused by fear. Fear that he had failed Dorian, fear that he would be punished even though he hadn’t been so far.

‘Hush, Fenris, don’t …’ He tugged tentatively. ‘I liked it, you know. That you don’t hate what I’m doing.’

‘I’ve … always liked it.’

‘You’re saying what I want to hear.’ He wished he’d never said a word. He just wanted to screw the elf into next week, not have a serious conversation with him. He’d tell him to be quiet. ‘Anything you want?’ he asked instead.

‘I … cannot … Can I?’

‘Yes. You can.’

‘I … want to face you.’

Dorian flushed. He’d thought Fenris would ask for a boon of some sort, a reward like a sweet cake or something. ‘Yes,’ he said and withdrew. The elf turned onto his back, green eyes half lidded. Dorian leaned over him. ‘You’re beautiful, Fenris.’ He cupped his cheek and their eyes were locked when he slid back inside. Fenris’s eyes closed, and he moaned almost inaudibly, trembling hands running down his sides in a beautiful caress. When he started moving underneath Dorian, whatever thought he’d had drowned in a haze of pleasure.

Ϡ

Dorian had barely managed to catch his breath. ‘What am I to do with you?’

The slave was in the process of getting dressed. Dorian had never intimated that he wanted him to linger … after. ‘I … do not understand.’

‘Surely, you want to do other things beside waiting for my call, Fenris.’

‘We’ve established that sex is the only thing I am capable of.’

Perhaps Dorian imagined it, but there seemed to be a hint of frustration in Fenris’s voice. ‘I can’t believe it is. You used to be more than that. Capable of protecting a mage with a lot of enemies. Capable of running away from that mage. Until you were handed back to him, you were quite formidable.’

‘I cannot learn!’ Fenris’s eyes widened in shock and he dropped to his knees. ‘Master I …’

‘Shut up. And stop kneeling. Come here, sit down.’ Dorian ran a hand over his face. ‘Moments like this, what you used to be comes through, I believe. Maybe you were a violent, horrible man, but I think … perhaps you were just hounded long enough to become that. Maybe even if you remembered, you wouldn’t … rip my head clean off? Maybe you’re a good person and deserve to be healed. Maybe once you are you’ll murder me. Now tell me, Fenris, should I risk that?’

‘No. I am content.’

Dorian shook his head. ‘I don’t believe you.’ Unselfconscious, Dorian pulled one leg under him and turned sideways. ‘This isn’t just hypothetical babbling. My friend can very likely help you. Perhaps you won’t remember everything, but that constant gale in your mind, that may yet be corrected.’

‘That friend of yours, why would he do that?’

‘Because I’d ask him nicely. It’s like this. I refuse to kill you because you might be dangerous. I’m not my father, and I am certainly not Danarius. What do you say? Would you like to try?’

Fenris swallowed. ‘If I prove to be uncontrollable you will have to have me killed.’

‘I doubt it will come to that. I think Danarius did this to you for petty revenge. I’m not sure if you ever were a threat for anyone, and somehow I don’t think you’ll be a threat to me.’

‘What will you do with me after?’

‘If this goes the way I hope, you’ll receive other tasks as well. We can discuss that when it comes to that.’ Dorian reached out and squeezed his shoulder. ‘Now do I talk to Felix? Will you let him work with you?’

‘I … Yes. I want to try.’


	5. Sunk Too Deep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((Chapter heading is taken out of context from one Britten’s War Requiem, one of Owen’s texts, obviously.))

At Dorian’s next visit to Alexius, he brought Fenris with him. He had informed Felix about the elf’s condition and, as he had guessed, his friend had jumped at the opportunity. If Fenris hadn’t been so damaged already, they would both feel bad about experimenting. But the fact of the matter was that it couldn’t get any worse. Not really.

Dorian had also mentioned that he was forced to return Fenris’s body in the event of his death. With a slight scowl, Felix had asked that Dorian show him the contract. So he delivered both together, wondering what was wrong.

For two weeks, Felix had worked on Fenris every few days. There was some progress, Fenris remembered a few things, but as if the memories belonged to another person. Or so he said. They would talk about it all later today, now that there had to be a break to his and Felix’s sessions. But now, the early morning of the last day before Felix left for Hossberg, Dorian had other things to worry about. He might have a solution for his and Gereon’s spell. So he handed Fenris over at the door and hurried downstairs to Alexius’s office.

What needed to be done, was to focus the power that wreaked havoc with the caster’s surroundings inwards. Not into the mage, obviously, that would be fatal. They needed a catalyst.

Theoretically, anything could be a catalyst. You could pick up a piece of rock, prepare it with the bounding spells, and use it. Traditional catalysts were rings or amulets, sometimes books. They were complicated to make and generally not worth the effort. Any spell could backfire and a catalyst could soak that effect. But normally a backfire was the mage’s fault and something that didn’t happen to someone with a modicum of discipline. Unapproved spells were always tricky, but there were only so many who were daring enough to just cast without doing the necessary research in advance.

Time magic, it seemed, developed a life of its own. A life that was close to uncontrollable. Which meant it was one of the few things that actually warranted the creation of a catalyst. Dorian was excited. He only knew of them in theory.

In his office, Alexius was thumbing an amulet, and Dorian chuckled. ‘That’s your solution? Here I thought you would finally succumb and use a few sacrifices.’

‘Well, if Felix gets his magic wrong, we have one where it doesn’t matter.’

‘Ouch.’ Dorian shook his head. ‘I know you think I’m being reckless, but it just doesn’t seem right to kill him without cause.’

The magister smiled. ‘Well, I certainly hope you are right. Now I assume your last review of our calculations brought you to the same conclusion?’

‘They did. You knew right out, didn’t you?’

The magister’s smile widened. ‘I … was almost positive. I wouldn’t have dared cast anything without a catalyst alone. But I did have the vector inversion wrong.’

‘Good.’ He didn’t specify which bit.

Alexius irreverently swung the amulet at Dorian. ‘Oh, but he’s insolent today. Must be in a good mood. Now … I want to try again. Same coin. Vector backwards, making it actually forwards, spell aiming to the future, and a catalyst. We should have two coins, if only for a moment. You know what to do if this goes wrong.’

‘Run for my life?’

‘Certainly an option. I will begin. In case you do run, it was an honour knowing you, Dorian Pavus.’ He blinked, then folded his arms. ‘On second thought, you have been involved from the start, haven’t you? You know as much about the theory as I do. Perhaps you want to do the honours?’

‘You already did it, didn’t you? Seeing how you had the catalyst.’

Alexius gave a shrug. ‘Maybe a little?’

‘I …’ Dorian swallowed. There were so many ways this could go wrong. ‘I should go through the theory once again, and …’

‘And have all the time in the world to get nervous? No. Cast. You can do it.’

‘Well. Let’s hope you’re still fast enough in case _you_ have to run.’

‘Count on it.’

Taking the offered catalyst, Dorian cleared his mind of the mixed worry and humour. He had to focus.

Ϡ

It had taken almost an hour before Dorian succeeded. This was the last attempt, then he would be too exhausted to stand a chance. He heard the coin fall to the desk from about an inch in height and opened his eyes just to see the duplicate vanish. His vector hadn’t been perfect, it shouldn’t have dropped but appeared lying on the desk. ‘Excellent,’ Gereon said. ‘I struggled with the spatial vector, too. It seems that our world as such gets distorted when you mess with time, speaking unscientifically. Other than that, we’ve got …’ A shouting match erupted upstairs. ‘What in the name of Andraste is that?’ The magister rushed out. Dorian checked if anything had broken before he went after him. He heard Alexius’s shout, rage making his voice snap like a whip. ‘Lennox! Unhand my son or I swear I’ll kill you where you stand!’

Alighting on the corridor, Dorian found none other than Danarius with one hand on Felix’s neck, the other raised as if to strike. The truth was likely more sinister. He didn’t even think, he simply cast, the catalyst, still in his hand, giving him a stability that was uncanny.

Danarius stepped away from Felix as if burned and turned to them. ‘You had no right to meddle with my property. He was given to you for a specific use, not to create a weapon.’

Dorian bridled. ‘My father bought him, you can’t just …’

‘Quiet!’ Gereon’s voice was a roll of thunder. ‘Lennox Danarius, if you ever pass my threshold again without my express permission, you will sorely regret it. I don’t care why you are here, but I do point out that you were not invited. I am very certain your reaction to trespassers is not friendly, never mind threatening your flesh and blood! Are you all right, Felix?’

‘I’m good. Thanks.’ The young man didn’t even look flustered when he rounded on Danarius. ‘And about that contract, I looked at it. It’s illegal, you have no right to demand his body after selling him. And you clearly had a link with him. That’s not precisely allowed, either.’

‘I had no link with that creature.’

Gereon stepped into Danarius’s personal space. ‘No, you happened to amble by when Felix was trying to help the poor sod.’ He pointed at the door. ‘Out. Now. And if you so much as try to use any knowledge that link fed you against the Pavus family, you’ll be in real shit.’

Danarius’s eyes narrowed. ‘We shall see. Remember the discussion a week ago? About the conclave? Despite your claims it’s all harmless, we are sending an agent. One who has not been fed lies from the south.’

‘And that agent happens to be you.’

‘Yes. And when I return, I will let everyone know just what they are planning.’

Gereon raised his arms. ‘Yes. Feed them your paranoia. Try. I for one hope the chantry people catch you. They’re going to have a field day.’

Danarius looked at Dorian. ‘Well. Your friend succeeded. You’ll find Fenris a lot less agreeable than before. Your problem now. You’ll pay for this, one way or another.’

Dorian watched him go. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked at his mentor’s face. ‘Don’t worry, lad. He can’t touch you.’

‘Someone must stop him.’ Gereon sighed and shrugged. ‘I’m serious. Someone has to go after him. He’ll hear nothing, come back, and feed lies to the magisterium!’

‘I know, Dorian.’ The magister scratched his head. ‘Well, the conclave is in about half a year. We have time to work something out. Now where is Fenris?’

‘Ah … he … got scared the moment I broke through. I felt it, how he finally could grasp his memories as his own, as a part of him. First I thought he’d kill me, then he bolted.’

‘How far do you think he went? If Danarius catches him …’

‘He did not.’ The elf stood in the doorway to what Dorian knew was a larder. He would have laughed if the entire situation wasn’t so disconcerting. ‘I … remember. But why would you want me to?’

Dorian met the elf’s eyes and saw how shame flooded his face. He took a step towards him. ‘Look, you …’

‘Do not touch me, mage.’

‘I … of course not.’

‘It would have been kinder of you to kill me. I am … still weakened and cannot escape. Cannot use the lyrium. Yet.’

Dorian shook his head. ‘No need to threaten me, I won’t stop you. No, seriously. I just hoped that … after everything you might not feel you have to run from me. I had that impression.’

‘I’m nothing to you.’

‘Not true.’

Alexius cleared his throat. ‘Would you mind?’ Dorian felt himself go red. ‘Do you have anyone in your household who would volunteer?’

‘For what?’

Felix swatted at Dorian. ‘Going after Danarius, someone who can contradict him, obviously.’

Alexius licked his lips. ‘In all honesty, I wasn’t going for contradiction. Someone to point out the Tevinter spy to the southern chantry.’

‘I volunteer.’ The three mages stared at Fenris. ‘I will stop him. By any means.’

The magister looked him up and down. ‘We need someone with more than muscle memory if they are to stand a chance against Danarius. You have your mind back, but you’re way too thin despite Dorian’s attempts to feed you. Attempts that you objected to as much as you could, I heard.’

‘I have six months.’

Dorian grinned. ‘Someone’s got his spirit back. Excellent. You will receive training. You were a fighter all your life, you’ll manage. Don’t look at me like that, Alexius, it’s perfect. If anyone doesn’t want Danarius to get what he wants, it’s Fenris.’

Alexius bit his lower lip. ‘Well. Yes. Perhaps I’ll send one of my guards with you as backup. Lots of time to decide all that.’ He looked at Felix. ‘You should get ready to leave. Your carriage is due in the evening. Tell Livia to hurry, too. You know how she gets. You don’t want to be late.’ Growling, he walked away, leaving Dorian with Fenris and Felix.

The young mage patted Dorian’s shoulder. ‘Cheer up. Like he said, Danarius can’t touch you.’

Dorian tore his eyes away from Fenris who was pointedly not looking at him. ‘That’s not it. My father isn’t going to like this. At all.’ He swallowed. ‘That was his solution, but … I can’t do that. It isn’t right to use someone like that. Aside from which I’ve … grown attached to Fenris. Which leaves me in square one. Or worse.’

‘Ah, Dorian. You know our door is always open for you. But you need to get used to the thought of founding a family one day. Your father isn’t going to relent. We both know that.’


	6. Nightfall

Chaos. All was chaos and death and pain. The Inquisition should have come to Redcliffe, but they very simply hadn’t shown up. Felix … no, Dorian refused to think about Felix. He was dead, had to be, killed by his own father’s men. He wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. All Gereon Alexius had wanted was to save his son. He had turned his last days into a nightmare instead.

Dorian’s foot caught on a rock and he fell flat on his face, too tired to break his fall. The noise of the army was behind him, the palisade surrounding Haven within his view. A shame to die here, so close to at least some sort of shelter. He gathered what resources he still had and hurled a spell against the gate. It should have shattered, but in fact, it barely shivered. ‘If someone could open this, I’d appreciate it!’ he managed.

He didn’t expect anything, but the door did open. First out was a blond man in plate mail. After him … Dorian had managed to pull himself to his feet on his staff, but when he saw who had to be the Herald of Andraste, he nearly fell back down. The blond man caught him. ‘Mite exhausted. Don’t mind me.’ He stared at the Herald. ‘I’m here to warn you. Fashionably late, I’m afraid.’ His voice had gone very quiet under the intense stare.

‘If you were a spy, you would be with the army.’

‘I’m … not a spy. I’m here to stop them. They’re …’

‘Later.’ The Herald turned to the armoured man. ‘No need to restrain him, Cullen. This is Dorian Pavus. I know him.’ He swallowed. ‘I … trust him.’

Dorian still clung to this Cullen’s arm like a child. ‘Fenris, I … thank you.’

The elf stepped closer, green eyes intense. ‘I thought you must be dead. It was not a thought I relished.’ To Dorian’s eternal surprise, Fenris reached out and cupped his cheek. ‘Get to safety. I have no intention to die out here. We’ll talk. Later.’


End file.
